


How the reindeer loved him

by yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Christmas, Christmas roleplay, Fluff and Smut, Honestly I can only apologise, Laughter During Sex, M/M, POV David Rose, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25625986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau
Summary: David wraps an arm around him, hand splayed across his chest to pull him close. “Tell me,” he says quietly.“I want you to dress up as Santa,” Patrick rushes out in one quick breath.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 50
Kudos: 128





	How the reindeer loved him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Januarium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarium/gifts), [samwhambam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/gifts).



> I... genuinely don't know how to explain this, other than that Januarium jokingly asked if the Christmas episode instalment of kink!verse was going to be "the Santa/Rudolph roleplay we've all been waiting for" and the ensuing conversation between her, samwhambam and I went entirely off the fucking rails. 
> 
> It's unbeta'd, unedited, and un... sensible. I wrote it while getting a thigh tattoo. It is what it is.
> 
> You know where the title is from.

“There’s something I’d like to do with you,” Patrick mumbles into David’s hair a week before Christmas, “but it’s… kind of stupid?”

“It’s not stupid,” David says automatically, and he can almost  _ hear _ Patrick rolling his eyes behind him. 

“You don’t even know what it is yet, David.”

David rolls over so they’re facing each other without ever dislodging Patrick’s hand from his hip, bringing his own hand up to Patrick’s cheek. “If it’s something you want, it’s not stupid,” he says softly. “And if it’s not, like, a hard limit for me, then I want to try it with you.”

Patrick’s face goes impossibly fond, like it always does when David is sincere. “I know, David,” he says, “and thank you. But it really is just a fun, silly dress-up idea, so if you’re not into it, I promise you’re not crushing some vital part of my sexuality.”

“Ooh, roleplay,” David says, waggling his eyebrows. “Very intrigued by this.”

Patrick huffs a laugh. “I really think when you hear this you’re going to want to call it dress-up, not roleplay,” he insists, eyes sliding away. “Actually, can we…” He turns so his back is pressed up to David’s chest and David lets him; Patrick still struggles, sometimes, with asking for the things he wants, and finds it easier if he doesn’t have to look at David while he does. 

David wraps an arm around him, hand splayed across his chest to pull him close. “Tell me,” he says quietly. 

“I want you to dress up as Santa,” Patrick rushes out in one quick breath. 

Oh. 

Well. 

David was prepared for… well, a lot kinkier. And the truth is, he’s been asked for, and done, far weirder roleplay, so… 

“Can you, uh,” he clears his throat and tries again. “Can you tell me why?”

Patrick squirms. “It was just a…” He sighs. “Sex was never… fun… before. But I can laugh with you, we can…” He trails off. “David, seriously, it was just a weird idea. We don’t have to.”

Of course they don’t have to. But David knows that if Patrick is prepared to ask for it, that means it’s something he really wants. 

“Sex wasn’t fun for me much before, either,” he says quietly, and it’s true. Often good, sure, but never  _ fun.  _ Not like it is with Patrick, where they can laugh and joke and just enjoy sex for the sometimes ridiculous thing that it is. “But I draw the line at a fake beard.”

Patrick turns so they’re nose to nose again. “Seriously?” he breathes, and David nods. “Wow, okay. I can work with hot younger Santa.” This last is accompanied by a teasing grin, and David narrows his eyes. 

“You know,” he says, “you could have just said  _ young.” _

“Could I, though?”

* * *

It’s not until later, when Patrick has drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, that David realises that if  _ he’s  _ dressing up as Santa… 

Huh. 

Patrick’s never shown any particular interest in any sort of gender-bending anything, for himself. He loves fucking David in lace panties, sucks David’s dick with gusto any time he wears a skirt without pants attached. But he’s never shown any interest in any of that for himself and David honestly didn’t expect that he would. 

But the mental image of Patrick in a little Mrs Claus costume, those gorgeous thick thighs fully accessible under it…

Well. David is now fully on board. 

* * *

On December 22, a package arrives at Rose Apothecary. 

“Oh, good,” Patrick says with relief when he sees it. “I was worried they wouldn’t get here on time.” He snatches the box up off the counter and puts it in the back room, the tips of his ears pink. 

“Do you need to steam those?” David can’t help asking, and Patrick laughs. 

“You’re really overestimating the quality of these costumes, David.”

* * *

By the time they make it back to Patrick’s after work David is feeling far more excited about dressing up in cheap polyester than he ever thought he would. It’s helped by the fact that Patrick has been particularly touchy-feely all day, with little brushes along his back and arms every time they found themselves in proximity. 

Patrick opens the box in his bedroom, handing a stack of red and white fabric to David. “Bathroom,” is all he says, and David raises an eyebrow. 

“Bossy,” he replies as he leaves. 

Once he’s closed the bathroom door behind him he places the costume carefully on the edge of the sink before stripping quickly. It’s only once he’s naked and his clothes are folded up that he takes a proper look at what Patrick has given him. 

It’s not a full Santa costume. There’s a pair of red boxers with white fur trim around the legs, a jacket to match, and of course a Santa hat. He pulls the boxers on first and is surprised to find they’re not horrifically uncomfortable — not for everyday wear, but comfortable enough for as long as he needs to wear them. The jacket is next, and with only one button to fasten it reveals a lot more chest hair that David would prefer, which he would hate if not for the fact that Patrick is openly, and vocally, appreciative of said chest hair. The hat goes on last, but not before a quick prayer to the hair gods that he can fix whatever this hat is about to do to his head later.

He risks a glance in the mirror. The overall look is… a lot, and on a whim David decides if he’s going to do this, he might as well lean all in. Opening the cabinet he finds some talcum powder and before he can change his mind, pours enough into his hand to work quickly through his stubble and eyebrows. Thank God his hair is covered by the hat.

_ That’s _ more like Santa. If Santa shaved, and also lost his pants.

He decides to leave his clothing in the bathroom rather than risking any powder transferring from his hands to the fabric, so he returns to Patrick’s bedroom empty-handed. He knocks on the closed door, waiting until he hears Patrick’s affirmation before swinging it open. When he sees Patrick lying on the bed, he stops dead in the doorway.

Patrick is not, as David had assumed, in a Mrs Claus costume.

He’s lying back on the bed, hands behind his head and a self-conscious grin on his face. He’s wearing a pair of brown boxers and nothing else, except for the antler headband and — oh God — a red nose.

“Wow,” David chokes out after a moment. “This is… not what I was expecting.”

Patrick’s smile flickers. “Too ridiculous, huh?”

He starts to sit up but before he can David is on the bed, pressing him back into the mattress. “Nope,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to Patrick’s stomach. “I mean, don’t get me wrong.” A kiss just over above one nipple. “It’s very ridiculous.” The other nipple. “But you are…” his mouth slides up to the base of Patrick’s throat. “Very, very sexy.” He sits back, eyeing Patrick who is now looking up at him, eyes wide. “I mean, okay, the nose  _ might _ be giving me birthday clown flashbacks. But apart from that, very into this whole look.”

Patrick smirks. “Does this help?” he asks, pressing the side of the nose and— 

“Holy  _ fuck,” _ David laughs as the nose lights up, blinking merrily. “You’re right, that’s definitely an improvement. Or at least a distraction.”

“Good,” Patrick says and then he’s surging up, capturing David’s lips in a deep kiss, one hand wrapped around his neck. By the time he pulls away David is panting, grinding down where their hips are pressed together and gratified to realise Patrick is as hard as he is. 

“Tell me what you want, honey,” he murmurs, and Patrick’s eyes go dark.

“Well,” he says with a small grin, “seeing as you’re Santa, I thought I should probably… sit in your lap?” 

David’s nodding as soon as he realises where Patrick is going with the sentence. “Yeah, yes, yep,” he says, trailing kisses down Patrick’s body until his mouth hits the waistband of his boxers. He peels them off slowly, enjoying the way Patrick gasps and cants his hips up as he’s exposed, cock curving up towards his stomach. 

“Fuck,” David whispers, licking a long wet stripe up the underside before licking up the precome gathered on the head. Patrick gasps, his hands flying to David’s head before he huffs and pulls them away again.

“Forgot it was a hat, not your hair,” he grumbles. “David,  _ please.” _

“I know, I’ve got you,” David says softly. “Lube?”

Patrick fumbles blindly in the bedside drawer until he finds the lube and a condom, tossing them in David’s general direction. David slicks his fingers up quickly before sliding one inside Patrick in one smooth stroke, pressing in and out until Patrick is writhing and fisting his hands in the sheets, antlers knocked askew. By the time he adds a second finger Patrick is rocking back against him, trying to get him deeper on every stroke. 

“More, David, please,” he hisses, and David hums in acknowledgement. 

“Mm, have you been good though?” he teases, and Patrick actually  _ pouts.  _

“I have, David, come on, I need—  _ fuck,”  _ he gasps as David adds a third finger, twisting up, stretching him open until he’s pushing back on David’s fingers so hard David can’t keep his wrist steady. 

“Okay,” David says as he slips his fingers out; that’s apparently all the cue Patrick needs to hook an ankle under his shin and grab both his wrists before flipping them both so David is sprawled out on his back, Patrick hovering over him. He tugs David’s boxers off before he grabs the condom from where it’s sitting on the bed next to David’s hip, tearing it open. As he rolls it down onto David’s dick the antlers fall forward again, threatening to slide down his face. 

“Okay, this is really annoying me, can we just—” David mutters, reaching you to straighten Patrick’s headband so it’s sitting in the middle of his head again. The nose is still twinkling at him and he tries not to stare at it too long, pushing himself up to a sitting position instead as he bodily hauls Patrick into his lap. 

“Come and sit on Santa’s lap,” he croons. Patrick rolls his eyes, snorting a laugh even as he lines himself up before working himself slowly down onto David’s cock, his hands clutching at David’s arms. Once their hips are flush he stays there a moment, breathing deeply as he adjusts with his face pressed into David’s shoulder. 

“Patrick,” David says softly in his ear. 

“Hmm?”

David keeps his face perfectly, painfully straight. “Won’t you ride my sleigh tonight?”

There’s a beat, and then Patrick’s entire body is shaking with laughter. “Oh my  _ God, _ David,” he gasps, leaning back to take David’s face in his hands. “This is ridiculous, I love you so much, I have so much fun with you, I love you—” he cuts himself off by crashing their lips together, all teeth and tongue, messy and imperfect and wonderful, that ridiculous red nose pressing hot against David’s cheek. 

Then Patrick starts to move and all David can do is clutch tight to his thighs, his feet pressed into the bed to get some leverage as he thrusts up to meet him. 

He can tell when Patrick is getting close by the way his thighs start trembling under David’s hands, and he takes one away to wrap it around Patrick’s cock as he pulls him into another inelegant kiss. “I love you,” he murmurs against Patrick’s lips. “It’s never— I’ve never—  _ fuck,”  _ he groans as his orgasm slams into him. He turns his face away from Patrick’s, pressing it into his neck as he shudders through the aftershocks, mouthing aimlessly at the soft skin at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. 

Patrick stopped moving as soon as David started to come and he wraps his hand around David’s, both their hands jerking him off as he throws his head back before moaning loudly as he paints David’s chest — and the Santa jacket — in come. There’s a long moment where they just cling to each other, catching their breath, before Patrick awkwardly unhooks his leg, collapsing onto the other side of the bed as David fumbles with the condom. 

“Holy fuck, that was hot,” David mumbles when he’s finally able to form words. 

“There’s talcum powder all over my pillowcases,” Patrick mutters in response.

“Mm. If only you’d asked for  _ young _ Santa. Then you wouldn’t have had that problem.”

“Well, I’ll remember that for next time,” Patrick says, his voice teasing but also sort of… not.

“I guess I should be grateful that you don’t know anything about Hanukkah,” David replies. 

Patrick just turns to him, a glint in his eye that makes David very, very nervous for next year. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Come and find me on [Tumblr](http://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Study in Festive Erotica #1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464660) by [Januarium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarium/pseuds/Januarium)




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